Happy Life with a Russian Wife

Posted By Julie on January 2, 2012

Dear friends,

In this first New Year’s post, let me congratulate you with the beginning of 2012 and share wiht you a very warm letter from Olga, Budapest.

“On these sacred days I would like to send my gratitude to my new family, to my in- laws. It is not the first time I celebrate Christmas in a different country and with different people. I like traveling and  celebrated Christmas and New Year in Austria, Italy, Poland. And this Christmas I am in Budapest with my new family, so Boldog Karácsony!

I am happy to be among these kind people and very grateful to them for understanding, love and patience. Though we do not speak a common language, each of us does a lot to make our conversations easier. My mother-in-law has put a Russian-Hungarian dictionary on the table and uses it when wants to tell me something important. As for me, I am doing my best to learn Hungarian words and use them in every – day life, they sound a bit funny for me sometimes but I try hard! And amuse my new relatives, it seems my Hungarian sounds like a balsam for them or something like that because I saw their faces then and want to please them again and again.

To tell the truth, my husband has never been on friendly terms with his relatives. Sometimes I try to understand why and it seems I am a success but sometimes it seems I do not understand anything at all. And then I want to leave everything up to him because I see nothing bad in these people. They treat me in a friendly way, doing their best to please me. They are like my natives. They often call me ‘angel’ and give me their love and care. I do not know, maybe I am really an angel for them who has come to unite them, to make them closer to each other. Time will tell us all.

Maybe I look like a curious child but for me it is really interesting how they celebrate holidays, how they treat each other. The people I see every day are very kind and thoughtful, I can say that I love them and want to thank them for my feeling at home among them.

My best wishes to all my in-laws on Christmas and coming New Year!

Olga”

With the  best wishes in the year just begun,

Julia Latypova

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Tags: Boldog Karácsony, New Year in Budapest

Posted By Julie on December 12, 2011

“Let me introduce myself. I am Olga Kancsura, come from a small, provincial town in Belarus, married to a Hungarian. We have been married for four months already. Our wedding was in Belarus and in a few days we are having one more wedding here in Budapest where I have been living for a month already.

A question one would like to ask me, “Why I got married to a foreigner?” Well, I cannot say that it had been my dream since my childhood. I was married to a Russian man but unfortunately we both were too young for it and our marriage was too short. I have a daughter after that marriage and now she is 22.

So for more than twenty years I had been living alone, working hard, bringing up my girl and sure that once I would get married, I was not meant to live alone. But I had never known where my husband would come from, where we would live together in our future. The only I knew, I felt for sure that he was living somewhere in Europe  as I had been travelling a lot and felt comfortable there as if I had left a part of myself  somewhere in those places before.

When my daughter became an adult I understood that it was high time for me to look for my man or the only perspective in front of me could be getting older, then retired and looking after my grandchildren. Oh, no! It is not my cup of tea yet! I would like to live my own life, to be happy, to love and feel my man’s love, to find myself in another life sphere not only teaching.

I cannot say that the process of meeting my man was an easy one. I had been serfing the dating sites for hours, learning a new business for myself, meeting different people, making mistakes believing sweet  words of scammers. But now I can say it was a great experience! And I am grateful to it.

Once among other men on that site I met a man who got my special interest. There was something unusual in him. I felt at ease talking to him in e-mails and in skype. And very soon we met at my place and felt that we were soul-mates. About a year later we got married and now we are living in Budapest.

There were a lot of lovely, touching days and events during this year. And many more are will be written in our life love story”.

We will continue publishing Olga’s stories on her experience of living in an international marriage in the future. If you’d like to contribute your own stories to this project, please write to my email:  jlatypova@mail.ru

Yours,

Julia Latypova

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Posted By admin on January 14, 2011

by Robert Leahy, Ph.D.

Director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy

Original source at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-leahy-phd/how-to-talk-to-someone-yo_b_804980.html

Imagine that the person that you love is upset about something — her job, his health, her feelings about the relationship. Let’s say she is worried about her health, worried that she might have some terrible illness — and that even if you think she is going to be OK, you want to comfort her, make her feel better. What are the worst ways and best ways of talking? What should you say, and what should you avoid saying?

Let me give you a hint. The most important thing in talking to someone who is upset is to communicate that 1) you understand they are upset, 2) you care about how they feel, and 3) you respect their right to have their feelings.

What Not To Say

Let’s start with the biggest mistakes in talking with your partner. For convenience, I’ve broken them down into six problematic styles: (more…)

Category: Empowering Each Other | No Comments »
Tags: cognitive psychotherapy, how to help our loved ones feel better, what to say to upset people

Posted By admin on January 6, 2011

Today, at our forum, I saw this picture taken by one of the Life Winner Program participants. Here’s her comment to it:

“I have just remembered that a couple of weeks ago I left the crocuses to sprout in a closet. Have just pulled them out of the dark to the light of the day. Here they are!

That’s how the tubers  planted in a fertile soil give strong roots and begin to grow – as if by themselves, but still, they require a constant care from us. And then, very soon, they will surely turn into lovely fragrant flowers!”

Indeed, every moment of our lives contains a huge latent potential, and it depends only on us to choose whether to turn it into a desert of problems or into an enormous field of possibilities.

• What are you turning in your life into?
• What are you going to do to make it a blooming garden, not a palisade of thorns?
• What have you already done in these early days of the New Year to improve your life?

Category: Empowering Each Other, Life Without Limits | No Comments »
Tags: how to grow crocuses, move towards one's true self

Posted By admin on December 27, 2010

Dear Friends,

Wish your holidays are as special as you are!

Happy New Year!

The team of the “Happy Life with a Russian Wife” project

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