Happy Life with a Russian Wife

Posted By admin on November 13, 2009

I mean, not the trash which filled up pantries and which you feel sorry to throw out. Though, yes, I mean that one too. It took so much time for me and my husband to clean out corners and wardrobes in the house. Sometimes our battles for things lead us to the verge of divorce. But nevertheless we cleaned everything out. We gave (and still give) out things that were no longer of any use or threw them away. Out of those heaps of trash, we found unique hand-made things that were brought by my husband while working in different projects all around the world. He just piled them up having no time to think where to place them.

Alas, we had to throw out a part of these beautiful things too, because they were eaten through by moth without any chance of restoration. The other part started its new life in practical usage. For example, at the table covered with table-cloth with gorgeous Pakistan embroidery that gathers our big family on holidays… Old, but very cozy armchairs started their new lives in cases or covers sewn by me. In the result, we found much more space in the house than it had had before, and, surprisingly, each corner became needed, sensible and joy-bringing.

Do you still think that I am talking about my house? It is not so. Home is a haven of our souls. Pay attention how your home reflects your soul: what it has of what you love, what reminds you of your best sides, what brings new energy, and what just suppresses it. Which things remind you of poverty and make you feel a victim, and which fill you with joy? How harmoniously does it all combine?

Do not be greedy for things. To become rich, it is not necessary to have much and even more. The bought and unused is not an investment, but a waist of money, because very soon it would loose any consumer value. Each day brings new ideas and new products to the world of consumption. But things that you already have can be used to enhance Joy, Knowledge, Opportunities, and Self-Belief.

Having done the external inventory you can realize how you treat yourself. What would you find out? — “Our neighbor lives much better!” or “The result of my work is not good enough!” or hear other self-demeaning exclamations?

Why do you treat yourself so badly? Not good enough — in comparison to what? In which time limit? From which start level? By the way, you might have noticed that the more attention we pay to certain things, the more considerable they become. So why do you increment your neighbor’s or colleague’s riches, but not your own? The riches will soon become trash, and will be thrown out like trash! And, most important, all those estimates are entirely useless and feed on your energy. Indeed, nothing is left to increase your riches.

Once, in the beginning of perestroika in Russia, when entrepreneurship just started, I bought a simple (of course, American) book on how to become a successful entrepreneur. It contained an infuriating piece of advice. Take any thing, it said, and see how it can be used in an unusual way. Then realize or sell the idea. It was against any rules!

It was really against our rules of that time. It is a pity that many people still live through all their lives according to those rules. And those rules dictated: do not acknowledge (especially out loud) your achievements, let others do it. It is indecent to praise yourself – you have to criticize yourself, the more the better. Whatever you do, it is not good enough unless your boss (family, friends) praises you.

We die quietly in such a way, without flying up even once. But now, during your personal inventory, you might have found out something very important and necessary for yourself, not to others.  Shake off dust carefully. Wash it. Clean it. Find the proper place for it. And start restoring it slowly – for yourself, not for others. The more we attend to that “trash,” the more knowledge and abilities we find and develop.  Later it will become obvious to others. New prospects become visible…

It does not matter if we are too slow. It does not matter if it is against the common rules.  It is important that we reveal our uniqueness, our essence, our calling. Your Home will help you without question.

Categories: Home Sweet Home
Tags: Creating New Space, New Home, Nurturing Each Other, Stages of Relations