On Communicating With a Husband via Letters, Attaching “Energies” to the Rooms, and the Riddle of Snoring.
Posted By admin on January 18, 2010
Dear readers,
Today’s issue continues the publication of a real correspondence on international families’ living. Find below the last part of the letter published in our previous post (people’s names are changed).
“I think the similar pattern might have occurred with John. He is not fighting with you, but with his past, with the stereotype of a man which has shaped up from his “past lives” and which has failed him. It is useless to fight it; it is better to move forward step by step.
For example, a couple of days ago, I wrote an email to my husband outlining my expectations on some issues that we had not thoroughly discussed. My letter did not contain any claims; I just wrote about some information for consideration and further discussion. Since he has got used to it during the five years of getting emails from me every day while we were living in different parts of the world (except for the time when we did not have access to the Internet), it works for him. For your husband John, something else might work.
The differentiation of “energies” in the rooms of our house bears along with other meanings the sense of finding some common ground, based on which we can build up everything else. Doing it step by step makes it a good principle, you know. For instance, Ron and I have started from redesigning two rooms. We agreed on each room’s function. Then we agreed on the slogans for each of the rooms. We also agreed to measure everything that surrounds us in the house against those slogans. We have created a kind of a measuring instrument which helps build a comfortable space for both of us. On this occasion, Ron even decided to find a computer program (out of his rich collection) that lets redesign the space of the house.
Yesterday, on his initiative, we spent the whole day searching for a computer table, which would comply with our mutual concept of the workplace belonging to a successful person. Fortunately, our tastes are matching and both of us like original ideas. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to find something exceptional here. We have found something in the long run. Now we think how to fit it into the existing house space without getting rid of the old furniture (I am against it, because it is made of real wood in the style of 1960-s, which looks just perfect if maintained and cared for properly).
In general, the process of change is not an easy one, but I am sure it cannot be omitted if we want to keep ourselves, our feelings and our husbands alive as the objects of our interest. Indeed, those conversations and thoughts take a good deal of room, but I believe that when at least some of the “knots” are untied there will be considerably less of resistance and much more of creativity, as seen after each of my conversations with Ron. Taken into consideration that our thoughts and emotions directly affect our physical conditions, I just melt with joy when I see how Ron starts blooming physically.
By the way, do you know how I define that my husband “has something to say” on any subject, even if he is not aware of it? — When he feels stressed, he snores terribly. During the previous four years of our relationship (while we were living in different parts of the world and communicated via correspondence), he snored continuously. No matter what he undertook to sleep calmly, everything turned useless. As soon as I finally moved to him this time, he stopped snoring completely. Now, as soon as he begins snoring again, it’s a sign for me to set up a conversation the next morning on the subject, which, as I think, might have created some tension. If we manage to discuss the issue with some positive outcomes for both of us, he sleeps as quietly as a mouse the next night. Even if he does not believe in it, the fact remains!
As far as the children are concerned, I miss them much too, especially granddaughters. But we do not see the point in their moving with us. I call them every week, and they send me photos. I can see how they grow without me, now that the responsibility for their families is on their shoulders. I can also see how my experience with Ron helps them solve their family problems, and go beyond their own limitations. And the future will tell. I always say that life is wiser than we are, and it has in store much better gifts than we can imagine and are ready to accept. It is important only to say “yes” to it in the right time.
Yesterday we received another confirmation of this belief. Ron’s daughter offered us two tickets to a dinner in the same church where our wedding had taken place. The program included the singing of madrigals. We did not know what level the performance was going to be. But we decided to accept her proposal simply as a new experience. As a result, we’ve got a real high-day, exactly one week away since our wedding ceremony in the same place! More than one hundred people of all ages were present at the dinner enjoying a terrific performance from the Renaissance ?poque done at a very high professional level, and savored delicious dishes cooked according to the old recipes of that time. We ate with spoons, because there were no forks known to the folks of that ?poque. As a gift, each of us took home his or her soup mug. And all this was absolutely free! There was nothing religious in this performance, except for one very beautiful and touching song in the end, when they put out the light in the hall and disseminated lit candles among the spectators. In general, you only need to say “yes” to something new and unknown, and it will happen to you… Write to me,
Hugs,
Vera”
(Have not been rated yet)
Загрузка ...
Comments
Leave a Reply
Please note: Comment moderation is currently enabled so there will be a delay between when you post your comment and when it shows up. Patience is a virtue; there is no need to re-submit your comment.
You must be logged in to post a comment.