Liubov | August 6, 2010
Imagine that you are going to marry a bright, intelligent, decent and sensitive man with a great sense of humor, who, without a doubt, loves you. And then, when you arrive to his country, you meet just the opposite: a dark and closed person, who resists the slightest attempt of your intrusion into his life. In addition, you have neither driver’s license nor money (that is, you are absolutely dependent on him regarding the transportation and inhabitancy), you have no connections, your knowledge of the foreign language is pretty poor and you have no idea of what you could do to succeed in the new environment. This was my starting point of living here.
Category: Empowering Each Other, Family Matters, Home Sweet Home, Letters As They Are, Life Without Limits |
No Comments »
Tags: how to improve relationships with an American husband, Russian women abroad
admin | May 27, 2010
This is particularly true about money issues. When I visit forums of women living overseas, I see a lot of angry and desperate comments and topics. When I ask them, “Why not discuss it with your husbands and simply resolve the issues?” the chorus of voices rises. Those voices say, “He supports me as is,” or “He is obliged to support me, but he is a jerk (excuse my French) who does not want to understand my needs.” All this comes from misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding comes from a very low self-esteem, or from excessive demands, or from some unconscious internal beliefs. But when all this is realized, when all this is articulated and discussed, many problems can be avoided. And you are an example for me in this sense, because you did not only dream about your love come true, but chose it by saying some important things, thus having escaped big problems.
Category: Empowering Each Other, Home Sweet Home, Life Without Limits |
No Comments »
Tags: a Russian-speaking wife, adaptation period, Commitment to Change, Happy Marriage, International Couple, interview with Russian women living abroad, Stages of Relations
admin | February 27, 2010
How each of the spouses imagines their future co-existence? This question is the axiom many couples do not even suspect about. Our husbands (regardless of their nationality) marry us in order to free themselves of the burden of their own problems and are not eager to take on ours. The opposite is also true: women get married hoping to breathe freely and to acquire a strong support rather than a tangle of resistances. How can the spouses combine their mind pictures? What can they do so that there would be enough of freedom and wealth in the family for both of them?
Category: Empowering Each Other, Family Matters, Home Sweet Home, Letters As They Are |
No Comments »
Tags: a holiday every day, combat zone, Commitment to Change, different views on our future together, Happy Marriage, he does not need what I am willing to give him, higher power, International Couple, Mutual Understanding, Nurturing Each Other, tears of joy, the intervention of Higher Power, the victim of failed relationships, Walpurgis Night, what men expect from the new marriage with a Russian wife, why are we getting married? the picture in my head, why are we together?, why do men marry?
admin | February 17, 2010
I received a confirmation that a lack of understanding in an international marriage is not only a personal problem but a problem of different cultures too. We have very different points of view about life as compared to the Americans.
For Russians, these things are important: house, comfort, homemade food and warmth, communication over a cup of tea in the kitchen. For the Americans, coziness in the house is a relative concept. Their view of comfort often implies that making a house cozy is just a waste of money. As far as their favorite food is concerned, a hamburger is the best thing in the world, though my dear husband eats everything that I cook with pleasure now.
Category: Home Sweet Home, Letters As They Are |
No Comments »
Tags: a Russian-speaking wife, asking for help, Emotions, Feelings, International Couple, Mutual Understanding, New Home, Nurturing Each Other
admin | February 8, 2010
I think you know how difficult it is, after many years of self-reliant, independent and pretty much secure life, to change habits so that both you and your man could be comfortable. A lot has to be reassessed and discussed. We talk almost every day for long periods of time. Sometimes we come across very sore spots.
Category: Family Matters, Home Sweet Home, Letters As They Are, No category |
No Comments »
Tags: a happy sign, a Russian-speaking wife, Commitment to Change, Improvement, International Couple, international families, Mutual Understanding, New Home, preparing for the wedding ceremony, take meaningful steps, what should be present equally at a wedding
